A Running Start

A Running Start:

How Play, Physical Activity, & Free Time Create a Successful Child

This book is about raising a successful child/human being. That seems simple enough. But it gets complicated when we consider that there’s been a shift in our collective thinking as to how success is achieved.

Many parents have been led to believe that if their child excels in school and in sports at a very early age, she or he will grow up to be a more successful adult. By getting a head start, their children will have an advantage in what they perceive to be a highly competitive world. The thinking goes:

The road to success is through scoring goals and acing tests (the child with the most blue ribbons and the highest grades wins).
By “accelerating” their children’s development, parents can ensure a more successful future for them.
That as parents, they—and they alone—are responsible for determining their children’s futures.
If they don’t do “whatever it takes,” their children will not succeed.

I call these well-intentioned but often misplaced expectations the “superkid” myths—defining success not in terms of happiness but in terms of being better and having more than the other guy. The result of these myths is that no longer can children just be; they must do. Childhood today has become a dress rehearsal for adulthood, and, for many children, life has become a great big competition. A race to walk and talk earlier than the other infants. To get into the best preschool. To be a star at Little League. To participate in the most activities. To excel. To win. To be the most “above-average” child in the history of children. To have a résumé, upon entrance into first grade, that will guarantee a place in the best high school, the best college, and, later, in the best corporation/law firm/medical practice.

But what are kids really winning when they’re losing out on childhood? There are millions of adults out there who are tired of the rat race, and they didn’t start racing until they were at least in their twenties. How long can today’s children be expected to love life when they start racing before they’re even toddling?

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When most of us think back to our childhoods, playing is probably the first thing that comes to mind. We played tag and hide-and-seek. We played “make-believe”: cops and robbers, mommies and daddies, movie star. We formed pickup games. We followed the trail of a caterpillar or worker ant.

I remember recess twice a day, during which my friend Kathy and I choreographed dances to Beatles’ songs, performing them on the playground for the other kids. I remember waking up on summer mornings with a tingle of excitement and an irrepressible urge to get outside. I have fond memories of learning to turn cartwheels, crushing milkweed pods with a rock as we acted out being “pilgrims,” and trees: a picnic under a weeping willow, a pear tree in the backyard, getting stuck in a neighbor’s because I could climb up but couldn’t climb back down.

Those were the days—unlike any others I’ve had since or will ever have again. Even vacations can’t begin to compare. Okay, it may not have been like living at Disneyland; even as children we had occasional worries. But if you’re like me, the magic and the wonder are what you retained. And having that once-in-a-lifetime chance to be a child is what sustains you now, when life isn’t always magical or wonderful.

Because we imagined creatures in the clouds, we have the imagination to prepare a meal from a refrigerator full of leftovers. Because we mastered riding a bike, turning cartwheels, and climbing trees (eventually getting both up and down), we have the confidence to tackle technology or tennis. We invented games when there was nobody to play with and learned resourcefulness and how to handle solitude. We invented games with our friends, creating and re-creating the rules, and learned the fine arts of cooperation, conflict resolution, and problem solving. Because the lives of today’s children are so structured and I’ve seen free play disappearing from the landscape of childhood, I worry that children now have too few opportunities to acquire these important life skills. That is the primary reason that I decided to write A Running Start.

Over the 27-year period that I’ve worked as a children’s physical activity specialist, I have watched educational priorities wax and wane. When I first began consulting, little was known about the role of movement in the learning process; but at least educators understood that young children learn best through play. Today, we have considerable research proving that they were right and, moreover, that movement, play, and physical activity contribute to brain and intellectual development. Despite this, educators too often tell me they don’t have time for movement and play because there are so many standards to meet and tests for which they must prepare the children.

This shift in educational priorities – from active learning to seatwork and high-stakes testing – was a gradual one. But with the implementation of No Child Left Behind, seatwork and high-stakes testing became the norm. As a result, recess and physical education – play and physical activity in the schools – are in danger of disappearing.

At the same time that educational priorities were shifting, parental priorities were, too. Children were being enrolled in more and more organized activities, and childhood itself became an exercise in goal attainment. Achievement came to supersede play, which meant that this important aspect of childhood was also disappearing in homes.

My colleagues and I have watched these trends in disbelief and dismay. I’ve written extensively on the importance of movement, play, and physical activity in the lives of young children; and I’ve traveled the country spreading the “movement message.” However, most of my work has been directed toward educators and others who work with young children. Recently I realized, through my conversations with both teachers and parents, that I must also spread the message to those who live with young children. My hope is that if I can help parents better understand the priorities of childhood, they’ll make the needed changes at home and require that the schools similarly embrace these priorities. My hope is that A Running Start will prompt a shift back in the other direction: toward play and the recognition that

especially in childhood, the process is more important than the product;
having fun is more beneficial to a child than winning;
trying one’s best because it’s fun prompts children to stick with it and motivates them to improve their skills; and
enjoying learning is more important than learning to regurgitate what a teacher feeds in

What’s my definition of success? The one I offer in A Running Start doesn’t involve a financial element. Rather, when I think of success, I envision someone who’s truly happy with life—a well-rounded individual who has the bases covered in all three developmental domains: intellectual, physical, and social/emotional.

For example, when I consider “academic” success, I imagine someone who’s adept at problem solving, able to handle whatever questions and challenges life throws her way. She’s also a lifelong learner: someone who so enjoys the process of learning that she never tires of discovering more of what the world has to offer. She may love to read, to hear people’s stories, or to otherwise uncover the hows and whys of the world around her. Simply put, her education hasn’t stopped just because she’s no longer in school.

When I consider “athletic” success, it’s no more and no less than someone who’s physically active and physically fit, whose early experiences were positive enough to encourage him to keep moving and stay healthy. So, now we have a lifelong learner who’s also active for life.

And then there’s the personal/social aspect. Here I envision an individual with confidence who relates well with others. Someone with good character and heart, whom other people admire for who they are, not how many toys they have.

Taken together, the three domains – intellectual, physical, and social/emotional -- are what we in the early childhood field refer to as the “whole child” (or, as I also like to call it: the “thinking, moving, feeling” child). The goal of early childhood education has long been to help children develop in all three of these areas, and I’m a huge proponent of the concept. But, as I remind parents and professionals in my presentations, it’s important to understand that these three domains overlap and interrelate. Children cannot learn or experience something in one domain without it impacting the other two.

You’ll see, therefore, as you read this book, that there is overlap and interrelatedness among the chapters here as well. For example, although it may come as a surprise to you, physical activity contributes a great deal to children’s cognitive/intellectual development. Similarly, children who are physically skilled tend to be more popular among their peers, meaning there’s a connection between physical and social development. Even the relaxation I prescribe for personal success, in Chapter 8, has ramifications beyond the obvious: Because it stimulates creative- and critical-thinking skills, among other things, relaxation plays a role in cognitive development. And these are just a few examples.

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A Running Start takes a close look at the misinformation parents have been fed, particularly in the areas of education and sports participation. The myths explored in Chapter 1, Keeping It Real: How Kids Really Learn, are related to how children learn and what truly determines intelligence: that children must be encouraged to learn, and that babies and young children need “gadgets and gear” for the best brain development. In reality, children are born with a desire to learn; and good, old-fashioned play and movement are the best contributors to brain development.

Too often, children are enrolled in organized sports long before they’re developmentally ready. Most parents aren’t aware that such skills as eye-hand and eye-foot coordination aren’t fully developed until age nine or 10, so a young child isn’t likely to master connecting bat to ball, foot to ball, or stick to puck. To enroll or not to enroll? Chapter 2, Ready or Not, Here Come Organized Sports, will help you make informed choices about the best time to sign your child up.

Chapter 3, Helping Your Child Master Movement, asserts that the way to ensure success in sports—and a lifelong love of physical activity—is not for children to dive right in but to first practice and refine the fundamentals. These ABCs of movement are as essential to physical activity as the alphabet is to reading.

Chapter 4, The Real Standards for “Smart,” is devoted to the myth that standardized tests are an accurate measurement of a child’s intelligence, when in fact there are many kinds of intelligence and standardized tests fail to measure most of them. This chapter will help you discover not how smart your child is, but how your child is smart.

Chapter 5, Is Your Child Playing Enough at School?, covers another two myths: that (1) An early emphasis on “academics” will ensure a more successful future, and (2) The sole purpose of a child’s education is to teach reading, writing, and ’rithmetic. I believe it is only when you understand what really matters in your child’s formal education that you can stand up to the administrators and advocate for what’s best for him. This chapter helps promote that understanding.

As the title indicates, Chapter 6, Finding the Right Organized Activity Program, will help you find the right, developmentally appropriate, organized programs for your child, while keeping expectations real.

Finally, the last three chapters address what it means to foster personal and social success. Chapter 7, You’ve Gotta Have Heart: Why Compassion Matters More than Competition, asks such questions as: What values do we want to instill in our children? What characteristics are truly important to a child’s future? And does the competitive nature of today’s society promote those characteristics and values, or does it have the opposite effect? We’ll explore the myth that being able to compete in a dog-eat-dog world is the most important trait for a child to have.

In Chapter 8, “Finding Creatures in the Clouds: The Value of Downtime,” I’ll tackle the mistaken notion that downtime is wasted time. Contrary to current popular belief, ample time to just dabble or do nothing are critical to a child’s present and future health and success.

Finally, Chapter 9, Getting Back on Track: Family First, contends that the time you spend together as a family will contribute more to your child’s running start than any jumpstart you might hope to give him in academics or athletics. We’ll then explore the power that parents have to make the changes that can make a difference for their children. At the other extreme, however, the final section of this chapter will look at the ways in which you must concede the power: by simply relaxing and trusting that your child is going to turn out just fine.

Throughout the nine chapters, you’ll find plenty of boxes called “Play & Learn Activities,” in which I’ll provide concrete suggestions and fun activities to help you and your child reach for the realities rather than the myths.

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I don’t mean for the title of this book, A Running Start, to give the impression that it’s intended to help you give your child a jumpstart on the “other” kids, or to help you raise a child who supersedes all others. Although I do agree that a parent contributes to her child’s development and future, I also firmly believe that pushing a child to develop ahead of her inborn timetable does harm. A Running Start, therefore, isn’t about the pressure to hurry children into adulthood. Rather, it refers literally to what I feel is the natural way you can give your child the best possible start in life: by letting your child be a child. By letting him run and jump and play—or, if desired, do “nothing.”

It’s an old-fashioned contention, I know: that the best way to give your child a running start is to take time out to play. It saddens me that such a belief is actually considered controversial today. But the belief certainly isn’t mine alone; educators, child development specialists, and the research agree. In fact, as this book was being written, the American Academy of Pediatrics issued a report contending that children need more old-fashioned free play. Titled “The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds,” the report stresses that play is far more beneficial to children than overscheduling and enrichment activities.

Authentic play, fun, and free time will best help your children achieve their life’s goals. By allowing children their childhood, we give them the greatest running start of all. For the children’s sakes, it’s time for the superkid madness to stop. Perhaps you never got caught up in it, but you’re feeling as though you’re all alone in the wilderness. Perhaps you did get caught up in it but are beginning to consider (or need some convincing) that life on the fast track isn’t the way childhood is supposed to be. A Running Start—its information, ideas, and support—is for you.