|
I think I love you, Rae Pica.
This is a book for anyone who wants to give their children a real head start on a healthy life--not to create superkids, but happy and healthy kids. She gives advice on picking team sports and reassurance that letting a kid "do nothing" is just as important if not more important than running them back and forth to endless activities. I'm so happy to see this message out there. |
As I was reading this book, there was a continuous running commentary in my head saying things like “Yes!,” “I agree!” and “Why don’t the powers that be who keep forcing curriculum down our throats get that?”
A Running Start is a book that I’m really glad I had the chance to read before my son is old enough to be registered in anything more than rhyme time at the library. It resonated with me as a teacher who’s fighting for less “objectives” for the six year olds I teach as more and more are piled on and also as a new mother trying to do her best job as a parent in this crazy world. Rae hits home on so many issues related to the sad state of competi-parenting, and compels parents to, above all else, make sure family comes first. Sounds great, but for many parents it’s harder said than done. Rae shares research and fact-based reasons why families need to make the effort to eat dinner together every night (with no TV on), why competitive sports can wait until the teen years and why compassion is so much more valuable than competition. She devotes an entire chapter to helping you figure out when your own children are ready to be registered in sports (and, as cute as it may be, why the preschool soccer league might be better replaced with a family walk in the park).
Rae also dispels the “super-kid myth.” You know, the one that tells you your four year old daughter needs to be in dance, soccer, play group, a pre-ivy-league preschool and also needs to practice her flash cards after dinner? The one that tells you your son needs to register for hockey and practice three times a week at three years of age because he will, of course, be the next Jarome Iginla if you just give him a head start? In our minds, I like to think most parents know that the super-kid myth is just that. A myth. But it’s hard to resist the pull of the multitude of classes and programs that are available nowadays. Over scheduled kids are usually the victims of very well-intentioned parents. A Running Start brings us back to the basics. Back to the days when looking for animals in clouds and climbing trees with your brother filled the hours after school before the family dinner (instead of the rush through the drive through so you’re not late for baseball practice).
Perhaps my favourite section of this book was the section on relaxation. Many children truly don’t have enough down time today. Childhood is the only time when we get to experience true wonder. As parents, there’s such a short period of time when we get to be parents of small children. Rae eloquently, but with no guilt implied, speaks to the need for allowing boredom in order for imagination to take over. Living in a house full of the newest technology and with a husband who is a techie by profession, we try to make a concerted effort not to expose our son to electronic sources of entertainment. As he grows older, it will be harder but after reading Rae’s book I am reaffirmed in my efforts. My kids WILL be allowed to be kids. After all, they’ve only got one chance.
So much of it is out there, even parents who try not to be CompetiMoms and CompetiDads can’t stop the activity treadmill for fear of having others think their children are slackers destined for mediocrity.
I’ve noticed that there is always at least one conversation at each kid’s birthday party I attend where the talk turns to how really bright one child or another is -- kindergartners purportedly reading at third-grade levels or preschoolers who the parents claim are articulate enough to be giving eulogies at family funerals (no, I am NOT making that up.)
Maybe they aren’t doing it intentionally, but even the most secure parent can’t help occasionally thinking, “Am I shortchanging my child? Am I doing enough to give them a 'leg up?' "
What I don’t hear a lot about when talking with other parents is how healthy their children are, how they get plenty of exercise and outdoor time or that they are well-rounded in the not-over-scheduled sense. Sure, maybe they are “advanced” in some respects, but what good does that do them if they’re not getting any fresh air or sunshine?
We are a nation obsessed and author Rae Pica is here just in time to save us from ourselves.
A Running Start: How Play, Physical Activity and Free Time Create a Successful Child has a pretty simple message, yet it’s one I think most children will benefit from -- run, chase, climb, tumble, explore, discover. These things are just as important to paving a road to success for our children as are the math flashcards, tutoring, and team sports.
Pica asks a pointed question that’s right there in our faces as we drive our sons and daughters in our minivans to their next lesson:
“[W]hat are kids really winning
when they’re losing out on childhood?”
I’m sure there are plenty of parents who will scoff at
the idea that for children to have a start toward
success it’s important for plenty of unscripted play
time and loads of outdoor physical activity. But Pica, a
movement education specialist for the last three
decades, is not suggesting that children should never
enroll in after-school activities, but she reminds us
that good old-fashioned, unstructured playtime is just
as important as academics to learning and development.
In one sub-chapter entitled Time to Do Nothing and
Relax, Pica discusses the importance of (gasp)
downtime for children. I’m willing to bet there aren’t a
lot of parenting books on the shelves that make that
kind of suggestion. But let’s face it -- after a long
day at work, we moms and dads love nothing more than to
sit down and unwind with a cup of tea, a glass of wine,
or a little quiet time with the newspaper. So why should
we think our children don't also need that time to chill
out at the end of the day to give their tired little
brains a chance to recharge?
Neither Pica nor I are suggesting that we pour the kids
a little Chardonnay after they’re done with their
homework, but some calm time at home with a book, a
stroll through the neighborhood or just hanging out in
the backyard can help kids from feeling overwhelmed with
their world and also present more natural learning
opportunities and chances for their curiousity to shine.
This is a book I wish I’d had before PunditGirl joined
the family. While I think I’ve done a pretty good job of
not succumbing to the
CompetiMommy track,
I think I would have felt less guilty and less like the
mom-out-of-touch with current trends in child-rearing,
if I’d had Pica’s voice of reason and common sense as we
made our way through toddlerhood.